If you know me at all, you’ll know that my go-to Saturday night (ok, every night) activity is curling up in my bed at 7pm re-watching episodes of Law and Order that I’ve seen over a thousand times. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “wow Jordyn, that’s pretty loser-ish of you. Why don’t you do normal nineteen-year-old things? Like going to the bar, or at least making some sort of human-contact after the sun sets?” Admittedly, these are questions I ask myself every night, but then, like some sort of magnetic-force, my bed pulls me in and the idea of watching Law and Order trumps every other possible night activity.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a total loner psychopath who opts out of human contact in favour of watching heinous crimes being committed and watching 2000’s Mariska Hargitay catching creepy perps. Rather, I’m someone who has trouble understanding how anything could be better than being buried under my comforter, watching heinous crimes being committed and solved by 2000’s Mariska Hargitay.
My lack of drive to socialize comes as a shock to most people. From the outside, I seem like someone who would love attending various social gatherings and throwing back a few tequila shots, now and again. This post is not to say that I hate all human contact and only want to exist within the realm of Jordynland (like Disneyland, except without the huge, terrifying talking characters), but rather is a self-awareness post and my ode to try new things and to disaffiliate myself from this “anti-social social club” (I swear, if I see one more person wearing one of those shirts I’m going to scream. We get it, you’re edgy).
I don’t know how my homebody-ness came to be, but it is manifested in my automated declination of all social invites. Whether it’s an invite to go to dinner, to watch a movie or to tear it up on the dance floor for Tequila Tuesdays, I find myself struggling to justify my reason for declining the invitation, yet still compelled to forgo the proposed event.
This is my public-ish pledge that I will try to say ‘Yes’ more often. Don’t worry mom and dad, this doesn’t mean I’ll be a regular at Tequila Tuesdays, Thirsty Thursdays (or any other themed bar night), just that I am committed to stepping out of my comfort zone and not spending my life exclusively socializing with Olivia Benson and Eliot Stabler.
I’m making a pledge to re-think my automated response to invitations, and instead move past the anxiety that plagues me when I try something new. I’m making a pledge to talk to more people and not fear the strangely frequent unsolicited attempts by strangers to communicate with me. I’m making a pledge to live my life as part of a community, not in the bubble of narcissism and aloofness that comes with spending too much time alone. And finally, I’m making a pledge to change the way I talk about socialization. Changing the language I use to describe what I deem to be undesirable experiences, and the language I use to describe myself. I will no longer put myself in a box of anti-social social (also, bonus points if this post discourages people from wearing that stupid “anti-social social club” merch).
So to all those who may categorize themselves as anti-social social – the kind of person who likes meeting new people and spending time with friends, but lacks the drive to put energy into social activities – take this pledge with me. Invest in yourself and award yourself the opportunity to have new experiences. Make time for yourself and your valuable ‘me-time’, but don’t let your choices be driven by the fear of discomfort. Don’t settle for a life of homogeneity and monotony.