North West may be only four years old, but, in her short life, she has graced the world with some serious ‘tude and countless adorable moments. Aside from her ridiculously cute face, her precious voice (often heard yelling “No pictures!”), her super-famous family and her iconic fashion style, North West has taught me an important lesson on not caring about what others think of me.
Ok, a four-year-old did not actually give me insight into how I could live shamelessly, nor did she teach me to not care about what others think. But, North’s personal style perfectly parallels my new attitude on the judgments of others – curated from 19 years of personal experience. Also, I wanted an excuse to search up “Cute North West Pictures” on Google without looking like a sociopath.
Step 1: Realize that No One Cares
The first step to living a care-free life is to realize that no one cares. Not in a harsh way to say that “no one cares about you” but, everyone is so focused on their own insecurities that they have no time to fuss over yours as well. This is a hard concept to grasp but, I promise, as soon as you get into this headspace, living shamelessly comes easily. For example, this past week I started boxing. If you have ever met me you know that I am the least intimidating person and would probably lose a match against a toddler boxer. Naturally, my first class was beyond intimidating. Aside from the fact that I had to run out of class twice to throw up, I felt super insecure about my form and the way I looked while I was hitting the bag (don’t know if this is correct terminology but I’m gonna stick with it). It took me to the end of the class to realize that no one came to that boxing class to judge me. Shockingly, they came to get a sick workout and get some aggression out on the bag (using it again). I’m also pretty sure the only reason they even realized I was there was because I had to run out twice because my body was not prepared for that level of activity (thank you two months of traveling and 7000 wheels of cheese). North West, on the other hand, can’t even go to a ballet class without being followed by paparazzi, but she makes sure to put those grown men with cameras in their place when they try to photograph her. So, unless you’re North reading this, no one cares about your insecurities except for you.
Step 2: Confidence is the Key to Life
Once you have overcome your brain’s natural affinity to think that everyone is watching you, gain positive attention by owning whatever it is you’re doing. The key to living carefree and having fun doing what you want is to own everything you do with confidence. If you are confident enough in what you’re doing and/or wearing, others will respond to this confidence with positivity and there will be no room in this bubble of confidence for negativity or judgment. When you radiate confidence, you give others the impression that any judgment they may have over what you are doing/wearing is wrong because, how can someone be so confident wearing something so weird? For example, during sorority recruitment this past year we, the potential new members, were given a set of guidelines for how we were supposed to dress for every night of recruitment. Being the out-of-touch, spacey person that I am, I was unaware of said guidelines and decided that I was going to wear my funkiest outfit on “business casual” day because I felt that it showed my personality to my prospective sisters. Upon entering the recruitment room, I saw that every other girl there had got the memo and were all in classy dresses and fancy pants. I, however, had gone the root of a double-denim ensemble with 5-inch brown booties. Instead of running out of the room in despair, I wore my outfit with confidence and acted like I totally knew the dress-code for the night, I had just chosen to be business casual in jeans. Although the majority of my confidence was falsified, fake confidence and real confidence are virtually identical to onlookers and I ended up receiving a bid from my sorority and the rest is history. So, even if you’re the weirdest dressed in the room, if you wear your outfit with the right amount of confidence, no one will think that what you’re wearing is weird. North, as the daughter of Kanye West, has had this unapologetic confidence from the beginning. Whether she is rocking a corset/dress outfit (no it’s not a real corset), a yellow sequined dress with a matching yellow shearling jacket, a black fur cape, or an oversized chain, North doesn’t dress like the average four-year-old. But, the confidence with which she wears those outfits, makes me believe that every four-year-old should be rocking leopard print and faux fur.
Step 3: Project Positivity and Live Without Judgment
The last step is an easy one; don’t judge other people. In order for us all to live our best, shameless lives, there needs to be less judgment and negativity in the world. The best place for this to start is with yourself. If you see someone doing or wearing something that makes you question their sanity, stop for a minute and ask yourself “does their outfit/choice affect me in any way?”. If you answer no to that question, then shut down your judgment and move on. The less judgment you put out into the world and the more you build up the confidence of others around you, the more confident you will become. Lead by example and, unlike Regina George, compliment a girl’s eclectic, vintage skirt without immediately afterward saying that it is the ugliest, effing skirt you have ever seen. North shares her confidence with best-friend/cousin Penelope, who is slowly emulating North’s “rock-with-confidence” attitude. So find friends who boost you up and who do and wear crazy things with you, because, at the end of the day, when you’re worrying about or judging other people, your life will never be as fun or amazing as it can be.